...and she'll be good to you. Despite the fights we had almost constantly, I dropped 5 pounds over the last week. We argued about how much I should exercise ("No, Ana, I am not crawling out of bed at midnight to lift weights") and about how much I was eating ("Stop trying to make me feel bad about one gumdrop, Ana"), but apparently I did well enough to be granted some weight loss. I even bought a new pair of jeans since I've dropped a size.
My uppance has come, though, because this morning I feel like the living dead. I think it's a combination of taking my medication late on the weekend days, and drinking Friday and Saturday. (Oh, those empty calories.) I haven't touched the alkie since I've been put on my new medication, so I figured I'd try a couple. I thought it was fine at the time, but I think it through my brain out of whack. Major headache since yesterday, and today I thought I'd (unintentionally) barf up my pills. I may have learned my lesson (maybe).
I also had a mini-binge one night. Well, maybe not so mini - it was somewhere around 1700 for the whole day. Sigh. I'm trying to look at it positively: maybe the flood of calories will give my metabolism a boost. I was just feeling sore and utterly grumpy. It's hard to stave off the feeling of FAILURE when everything is reminding you of it.
Which reminds me...has this ever happened to you? I don't watch a lot of TV most days, but Sunday night I decided to lounge. Everything made reference to eating disorders. Everything. What the hell? We're talking everything from The Simpsons, the Discovery Channel, MTV, the stupid TV guide station. I should have checked the History Channel, I bet there would have been something there, too. It freaked me out.
Over the weekend I typed up some long posts to put here, but I really only want to post once a day, so I'll save them for a day I'm uninspired (or less bitchy).
Monday, July 27, 2009
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2 voices:
I'm so happy for you on the losing weight! I totally know what you mean about getting really bitchy and just eating because you can... I am sad to admit it has happened to me often. But it's alright. I'm sure you'll make up for it.
I've never had that problem with the TV. I do get super paranoid when my mom asks me what i've eaten for the day. I get super snappy with her and tell her that i've eaten enough. Sometimes I almost cry; i'm so afraid she'll make me eat. That can't be normal, can it? ...oh well, i never claimed to be normal i suppose.
Have a lovely day, and continue to be kind to Ana. :)
Wonderful job on the weight loss! : D
And you're so right about the not being shaped like a beach ball thing making people think your fine! hahaha! that's so true!
So random how we're like the same size too! It actually really inspires me because sometimes I feel discouraged because everyone on here seems to be so much smaller than me and I feel like this huge matronly figure.
I bet the mini binge will boost your metabolism. I've noticed that if I eat 1500 cal randomly one day, I always lose weight.
I don't have cable, so I haven't had that experience yet.
I can't wait to read these elusive long posts you allude to! : D I love long posts.
Stay strong <3
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