Alienating My New Followers

A lot of new folks have started following this blog, especially over the last couple of months. (Apparently attempted suicide is great for ratings! Ah, morbid humor – classy.) Hi guys! Sorry I’m so bad with welcomes! (At least you get a taste of my bad jokes, right?) So I’ve been getting a lot of questions about stuff that I’ve talked about ages ago, just your daily basic stuff. I certainly don’t mind answering, of course, but there’s a couple of things I want to address, particularly because there’s so many new people, and they might now “know” me as well as people who’ve been reading for a while.

 

First is the topic of anonymous comments. I am a strong supporter of the right to free speech, the right to state one’s opinion at any time in any way one chooses (so long as that way is not an invasion of other people’s basic rights). I believe in their right to make this choice, even if that choice is not always in one’s best personal interests. That said, even though I allow anonymous comments for these reasons, I actually hate them. Now this may be just part of my unique mental state (read “crazy”) but I am extremely suspicious of anonymous comments, and I find them cowardly and underhanded. Posting as anonymous means you have something to hide, that you shouldn’t be saying what you’re saying, that you shouldn’t be on this blog, or that something else is Fishy in Denmark.

 

You do not need a Blogger account to post on this blog – there are other options. If you don’t want to use an account, at the very least sign a nick name on your “anonymous”, because I will instinctively like you more. It’s just a personal pet peeve, I know, but I think it’s also a bit of internet etiquette.

 

This all brings me to my second topic. The content of some of these recent anon comments, as well as some named comments, has been on my daily food consumption. These questions make me scratch my head thoughtfully, because they sound suspiciously like requests for Tips n’ Tricks. I do think some of you are just asking – and I will indeed answer, because I’ve been very open about it, frankly – but I want to make it very clear here: I will not teach you how to starve. Frankly, you CAN’T teach someone to starve, by the way, because either you’re eating disordered or you’re not, but this is not THAT kind of Pro-Ana site. In fact, I do not approve of THAT kind of Pro-Ana site.

 

Yes, I have lost a lot of weight over the last year. But there are some important facts to remember here. No, I’m not going to whine at you about “side effects”, so keep your shorts on.

 

ONE, the extra weight I had on was unnatural to me. I had always been and grown up thin; I had never been overweight before. So it was easier for my body to return to its “natural” thin state. I was not fighting against nature and genetics and a lifetime of overweight. I’m not saying this out of pride – in fact, it’s the opposite. There’s some people out there who work a FUCKLOAD harder than me, and they should be DAMN proud of themselves, because they have a LOT more going against them.

 

TWO, do the math. Really, go do it. From July to July, I lost 48 pounds. That’s 4 pounds a month. That’s 0.9 pounds a week. I was only losing 0.9 pounds a week. Not 10, not 3, not even one. Surprised? I will say it, now and forever, until my dying breath, that yes, starving works, but dieting the right way works faster. I’ll swear it on any grave you want.

 

Before I started this blog I was dieting in a healthy way, eating a (gluten-free) diet of vegetables, fruits, lean meats, and dairy, which consisted of 1700-1900 calories a day. For those first two months I dropped 15 pounds, 7.5 pounds each month. NOT 4 pounds. And I would have dropped even faster if I did more exercise, but I wasn’t going to the gym or anything, because my arthritis wasn’t diagnosed at the time.

 

So girls, boys, anyone who is visiting this blog because they are overweight and desperate and are thinking, just like I did, Look at those anorexics – they obviously know how to lose weight! Maybe if I just take SOME of their tips, I’ll be okay and be thin! Take this tip from me right now: don’t even bother!! There is NO magical tip for weight loss! If you have a compulsive or binge eating, that’s one thing, and you may need outside help to get over it, but other than that the only solution for fat is to get off your butt and choose “salad” instead of “french fries” 90% of the time. Forever. It’s really not as bad as it sounds.

 

*deep breath* Okay, I’ll get off the soapbox now!! Phew!

 

Anyway, the answer to the question: in general, for most of the last year, my calorie intake was around 850. I am gluten free, and even though there are GF options I often avoid carbs. Normal foods for me are GF granola, fruits, eggs, chef salads, vegetable soups, and various dinners made of veggies and lean meats. It LOOKS pretty normal written out, and it’s actually relatively healthy in comparison to the way some anorexics eat – some are sugar fiends, some avoid all fat or all meat. And I took vitamins.

 

But recently since the hospital I’ve kind of worsened, so right now it’s:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup GF cereal, bit of milk, giant pile of medications @_@ (maybe 130)

Break: Coffee (whatever sugar + cream is, if I use real stuff, maybe 50)

Lunch: Sometimes nothing, sometimes iced coffee with splenda and skim (50), sometimes fruit (100ish), if really hungry chef salad (up to 300)

Break or After Work: Occasional snack or candy (up to 100)

Dinner: Whatever I cook (sometimes I can skip it or eat tiny bits of it) (400 or less)

 

So yeah. I really doubt I’m hitting 800 anymore, because even if I get “hungry” and buy a salad, I’ll eat half of it and then will be too “full” for dinner. You know. I’m also taking Alli (fat blocker) with meats or candy, and I’ve got a carb-blocker for the rare carbs I do eat. I’m pretty sure that carb-blockers are fucking full of shit, but I clearly don’t care at this point. :D But of course now my weight’s stalled. I’m still stuck at 110. What a pissant. So much for 103 by the anniversary. Oh well. I’ll get there.

 

One last thing: I finished cleaning the blogroll, plus added some new people (take a look if you want some new reads!), and there were a few things I wanted to mention to people.

 

 - I strongly suggest you turn on Comment Moderation, at least after 1 Day. I thought it would be a pain, but you get used to it. Putting it after 1 day catching 99% of most of the Spam while allowing most regular comments through, I’ve personally found.

 

 - If you do this, it means you can probably turn of that stupid CAPCHA. I hate that shit, lol.

 

 - And another thing: if you don’t get comments from your readers, make sure they work. Sometimes your layout will kill them. It’s happened to me and others before. So yeah.

 

 - I was amazed at how many blogs had been mysteriously deleted without my noticing. I just wanted to remind everyone to back up your blog every once in a while. You can do so under one of the Settings tabs.

 

- Lastly, I wanted to gloat a little. I’ve always said that Pro-Ana is made of up mostly eating disordered people, because those who are not will “try it”, find out that it’s not for them, and leave of their own accord. Purging the blogroll supported my theory. Most of the blogs had only a few posts, spanning a month or two. “Hi, I’m Pro-Ana, and I need to be thin.” Some posts counting calories and such, and then – poof! Gone. You cannot learn anorexia, nor is it contagious. So HA. HA, universe.

 

(And thanks to everyone who gave compliments on the pic, by the way. @_@ I’m so forgetful.)